Sunday, November 06, 2005

Bin day

Fantastically enough, my new job involves spending vast quantities of the company’s money on beautiful things – perfect. This week I was scouring the high street to find waste paper bins for a project I’m working on and you would not believe the level of pickiness I reached over this seemingly insignificant challenge. Ample height was imperative, style had to be sleek and modern yet robust and sturdy, and above all it had to be cheap… Habitat was therefore out of the question and the only alternative: the twin towers of Ikea, Croydon. 45mins on the train and I got to the Croydon tramway. Possibly the most confusing system I have ever tried to navigate and I had the distinct aura of tourist as I wandered aimlessly back and forwards squinting at the maps (possibly my lack of gold jewellery or Croydon facelift hair doo might also have contributed to the ‘you’re not from round ere’ glances). I got some help from a friendly postie who was a 'regular user' and I only had to talk to him about all the great places in Croydon he could take me to for about 20 mins when Ikea thankfully came into view. Did I mention that gale force winds were blowing and rain was in the air? I battled across the car park, wishing I’d worn sensible shoes and possibly a souwester but once inside the hallowed halls I managed to locate the rubbish bins pretty much straight away without being distracted by snake draught excluders or fairy lights (the fact I had to go back on the tram was a good reason to limit luggage) and selected 12 of the sleekest, sturdiest, cheapest bins I could find. As I headed for the checkouts I even managed not to buy any tealights. Carrying 12 waste paper bins is not easy, they get very heavy, very quickly and when you’re also dragging a laptop, a well stuffed handbag and wearing ridiculous shoes it’s downright dangerous. I couldn’t get my ticket out of my bag without putting everything down, I couldn’t fit through the train barriers, I kept getting evil looks as I bashed my fellow passengers ankles and my arms were getting longer every second. To add insult to injury FOUR people at separate points on my way back to the office chortled ‘Where’s yer bin?’ as I passed by… hilarious.

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