Monday, January 30, 2006
New place, new space to fill…us is just me but it’s the old me. There’s been a break, a wrench that threatened to rip me apart… a time at the end when fine threads like cobwebs stretched between us, pulling taut and tearing, then freefalling away. That’s what this is – freefalling. You ask me if I miss you. I don’t know what the answer is and I don’t know what the answer should be. There’s something gaping – a space left behind but its space to breathe and room to move. It’s a gap that’s waiting to be filled with something precious and exciting. I lie in my new sheets, in my new place and I wonder if it was lonelier lying beside you than it is being without you. Even when I reach across and feel the cool smoothness where the curve of your shoulder used to be I know that this new space will give me the room I need to grow into myself again.